Nothing can ruin a good concert faster than a bad crowd. I’ve been to a lot of concerts over the last ~15 years and when it comes to fellow attendees, boy, have I seen it all. So to help prevent you from becoming one of those people, here’s a list of Do’s and Don’ts to keep in mind for your next concert-going experience.
Do’s
Wear casual, comfortable clothes. You’re gonna be crammed together anyway, so no one will be able to see what you’re wearing. In fact, wearing black and/or patterned clothing that hides spilled drinks (they happen!) is a good idea. Try not to be that person who spills their drink on others though; it won’t make you popular.
Only wear non-athletic shoes if you’re short and own a comfortable pair of platform shoes.
Check your coat and/or bag (at non-seated, General Admission shows especially). It’ll unencumber you and help you to not break out into full sweat 5 minutes in.
Wear ear plugs. You may be young and feel invincible now (or not, I’m writing to a wide-ranging audience), but one day you’ll wake up and wonder why everyone around you isn’t speaking loudly enough. They make tons of ear plugs now designed specifically for concerts (I wear Happy Ears), so give them a go. In my experience, some of the loudest concerts I’ve been to have been at smaller venues, where the sound guy has the volume so loud the walls are literally vibrating.
Hydrate, especially if you’re at an outdoor concert during the summer. (As an indoorswoman though, I don’t advise going outdoors, but sometimes you have to if you want to see a particular band’s current tour.) My favorite venues are the ones that set out a free watercooler and cups instead of making you pay $8 for a bottle of water (after confiscating the one you brought with you).
Let the band be the center of attention, not you. No one is impressed by your dancing, Jessica.
For smaller, up-and-coming bands, check out the merch table. Believe it or not, that’s how they make a lot of their money now and could also use the free publicity that a band tshirt has to offer.
More of a general tip than etiquette: when you’re buying tickets to the show, I recommend referencing A View from My Seat, which shows photos that real people took from a given seat so you can get a better sense of how good/bad the view is before buying. For example, if I buy a ticket at MSG in row L of section 302, will the band members look like pinheads or not? (Answer: they will indeed look like pinheads.) Unfortunately, there’s no way to determine in advance what kinds of creatures will buy tickets for the seats around you.
Just be cool, ok? Act like the adult in public that you are.
Don’ts
Never go to a concert on St. Patrick’s Day. Everyone in the crowd will already be sloppy-drunk regardless of how early the show starts.
As delicious as it is, don’t eat ramen before the show, or you’ll end up with a gut full of broth, needing the bathroom every 10 minutes.
Don’t send the already-drunk guy to go get more beer for the group. He couldn’t carry 4 full cups of beer dead-sober let alone many drinks in.
Don’t go to Terminal 5. It sucks. You’ll regret it. Just don’t.
At a GA show, if the crowd is already packed very tightly, don’t push your way to the front. I once shot an angry glare at a bro pushing ahead of me at a Killers concert who then put his hand on my thigh and condescendingly told me he was “just trying to get closer to the stage for a better view.” Dude, we all are. Also, try that again, and you’re getting a knee to the nuts.
Don’t make out with someone. I know it’s a tired phrase, but get a room.
Don’t be that person who spends the entire time taking videos and pictures that we all know you won’t look at again. Take a few, sure, but then put your phone away and actually live in the moment.
Don’t talk through the whole thing. No one here paid $100 for two hours of mindless commentary. If you don’t actually want to hear the music, go to a bar. This is NYC, there are about 6 million of them and they’re all designed for people to stand around and talk.
If you’re at a seated show and literally everyone else in your section is sitting, don’t be that one person that’s gotta stand and block the view of all the people behind them. Also, don’t bring giant posterboard signs; they make much better doors than windows.
Don’t go to a concert just so that you can say you were there. Go because you genuinely want to hear the music.
(Venues) Don’t charge $20 for a beer. That’s criminal.
Don’t be that guy who’s yells out “witty” remarks when the frontman/woman is trying to talk to the audience between songs. I realize it’s been a while since you were last let out of your crate, but keep your thoughts to yourself, jackass.
And don’t forget to have fun!!!!!!!!!!!
TV Show Recommendations
Primo
It is a true shame that this warm, hilarious sitcom has been hidden on Freevee, which most people don’t even know exists. This semi-autobiographical show (based on co-creator Shea Serrano’s life) is focused around a Latinx San Antonio-based family (teenage Rafa, his mother Drea, and her five protective brothers). The comedic timing and delivery are absolutely top notch and the five uncles are fully unique in lifestyle and demeanor (you have the long-haired hippie; the bank teller; a pragmatic small business owner; a handsome Army man; and a wild, yet affable doofus). The dialogue is snappy and clever; it has 100% on Rotten Tomatoes; and Mike Schur (creator of The Office, Parks & Rec, Brooklyn 99) is a co-executive producer. What more do you want?
(Freevee is Amazon’s free, ad-supported platform. I accessed it through my Prime account, but you don’t need Prime to watch it. And honestly, there were very few ads—maybe 1-2 minutes combined of ad time per episode.)
Fisk
Speaking of sharp, unknown sitcoms… the Australian workplace comedy on Netflix, Fisk, is another must-watch for fans of The Office and Parks & Rec. The humor is dry and hilarious; the characters are well defined and kind of pathetic; and the second season comes out this Saturday! After her marriage and career in Sydney both fall apart, Helen Tudor-Fisk (Kitty Flanagan) moves to Melbourne and starts a new job at a shabby law office that specializes in wills and probate. She’s a little cranky (she gets banned from the nearby coffee shop on her first day because mistakes the shop owner for a customer and chastises him for making a loud phone call from one of the tables) and no-nonsense (she owns multiples of the exact same ill-fitting pantsuit because she can’t be bothered by fashion), but is lovable nonetheless. (Shoutout Ellie for this rec!)